Getting rid of negative thoughts and living in the moment
Question:I am constantly either feeling sad about things I had in the past but don't right now, or worrying about not getting the things I want in the future. I almost feel pressurized by my desires and the things I want because I feel scared I won't get them. I used to be a very positive person, with extremely high self-esteem. But ever since the man I was in love with ended our relationship, my attitude towards myself and towards life has changed. I know what I "should" do, but its all easier said than done. I am unable to keep my focus on myself and on respecting/loving myself. My self-esteem has really gone down, in almost every area of my life. Even now, when I think of him, it pulls my mood down and I feel like I'm back to square one. What should I do??? I want to be happy and positive and have faith that everything I want is coming to me, so that I am more likely to attract them all, but I'm unable to.
Real Life LoA Answer: I understand how this feels, I'm sorry it's difficult, and hard, and it is definitely "easier said than done", I know... But YOU are stronger than that! You are stronger than your circumstances, and you are stronger than your disappointment! I know it because I am going through a heart-breaking disappointment in my own life right now too, and I am in the process of working through it, step-by-step myself, to regain my own center and alignment also. ...And, if I can do it, SO CAN YOU!
STEP 1: The first step is to fully grieve the loss, the disappointment – allow yourself to really feel your feelings, cry, rage, scream, write, sob – get your feelings OUT of you. Allow yourself to face your own fears about "what this means about you" and let yourself look at the ugly, dirty, shameful, frightened feelings that the disappointment brings forward. You only feel strong emotion about something when it is really important to you, so let yourself feel that importance. Your feelings will not swallow, or drown you, but it is only through really feeling them that you can ever move forward.
When you have done that long enough, so that the sadness is lifting on it's own (not simply that you are trying to distract yourself from it, or run away from it, but such that you try to get some more pain and anger out in the form of tears, or writing, or whatnot, but they won't come.) Then rest. Just rest for a while. Don't "try" to do anything else for a while; just let yourself acclimate to your new emotional place.
STEP 2: Do something to release negative and limiting beliefs about yourself, or at least begin a practice focusing more attention onto loving YOURSELF more...
This Abraham Hicks video has a very strange sounding audio track, but it is good information about the TRUTH of who YOU really are! You are a magnificent, beautiful, creative, resourceful, strong, precious, loving, bright, and powerful – YOU have the ability to appreciate how phenomenal you are, and love who you are the way Source Energy does. You DO have that ability, that power, all you need to do is practice it, a little more every day.
If you find yourself mentally arguing with the wisdom in the video, or not believing it, or feeling like it is not true for you, then you have negative and limiting beliefs about yourself. Unfortunately, that is normal, EVERYBODY has negative and limiting beliefs about themselves, at least until you consciously change them and re-create your early misinterpretations of the meaning behind the pivotal events of your childhood.
"Teaching you to like yourself, feel good about YOU, is harder than teaching you to feel good about/like almost anything else!" ~Abraham-Hicks
Here are the tools I am using myself, right now, to remove and release the irrational beliefs that are blocking my alignment:
Abraham-Hicks "Get Into the Vortex" guided meditations
The Lefkoe method – ReCreate Your Life
The Work of Byron Katie
Get back in touch with your own dreams, as an individual, and start doing more things that YOU love to do! ...Start now.
STEP 3: Begin the process of thinking BIGGER...
This serves two purposes: 1) It will distract you from thinking about the former relationship that always makes you so sad and brings you down when you do think about it (which, is the Law of Attraction's way of telling you that you are thinking about something that is NOT in alignment with your real dreams.) 2) It brings you into alignment with what your TRUE dreams REALLY are! Only when you are in touch with what your REAL dreams for yourself are, can the Law of Attraction start to bring them to you.
"If you're discouraged, the answer is not to scale back your dreams, but to make them bigger than your discouragement" ~Ralph Marston
Create a "bucket list" – make a running list of at least 50 things (or more) that you want to experience, have, do, or BE before you pass from this earth (or, before you reach a certain age.) Then, start doing anything and everything from the list that you can. When you check one thing off the list, add at least three more!
Make a deliberate decision to notice, and write down, 20 "JOY points" a day – those little moments when you see, smell, taste, hear or experience something beautiful or loving. Notice those moments, and collect them – soon they will be accumulating in your experience, your outlook, and your expectations!
Ask yourself "What could be even better than that thing/person/situation that didn't go my way?" Consciously set your new sights on an even bigger and better "version" for the next time around. Look FORWARD to new things on your horizon!
Your ultimate goal / what you are really going for is building your own connection with YOU, with the truth of who you really are. That is how Source Energy sees you, and when you are in alignment with that – with fullness, with joy, with fun, with passion, with excitement, with zest, with enthusiasm, with playfulness, with fascination, with interest – THEN the Law of Attraction can bring you what you REALLY want, because that is when you are in alignment with it!
...Those joyful feelings are the ones that tell you that you are in alignment. Magnify those.
"We want you experience greater independence than that. We want you to say to your lovers, "I love you, but I won't live for you. Because Source Energy flows through me. You are a catalyst to my wellbeing, but you are not essential to my wellbeing; because I've got that figured out on my own. I have reached for thoughts that give me relief. And I have relieved myself all the way into my full connection of Who I Really Am. And now we can just dance and play together."" ~Abraham Hicks
Here are some links to other Law of Attraction and manifestation pages that you may also find supportive: