Sad to be moving away from first love
(Los Angeles, CA)
Question: My daughter will be going to college this fall. Leaving her high school sweetheart behind...they will be on opposite coasts....she swears he is the one... I've never seen her so sad, and don't know how to explain that if things are meant to be, the distance between them won't matter. Is there another way to help her through this time of huge change?
Real Life LoA Answer: Wow, Kim, I hear you. It's SO difficult to see someone you love so much hurting in that way, isn't it? And, it is obviously so painful for you to stand by, seemingly helplessly, when your daughter is feeling such sadness. That's really hard, but there is also nothing you really can (or should) do to try to take the pain away, in the traditional sense that is.
From the Law of Attraction perspective, the reason she is feeling sad is because she is not looking at the situation the same way the Universe / Her Inner Being / God / Her Soul / the Law of Attraction is. Her true Self, her Inner Being only knows love, and knows that love will prevail no matter what!
But when she imagines herself so far away from her sweetheart, she is focusing on what may be "missing" from the relationship and the worst of it, rather than the best of what it is based on, the love itself.
Feelings of sadness, worry, overwhelm, fear, anxiety, are usually caused by looking into the future and imagining a negative outcome.
That's too bad, because with a little practice, it is just as easy to imagine a positive outcome (or something EVEN better than that) as it is to imagine a negative one, and focusing on a happy future feels SO MUCH BETTER!
As a little side story, when I first met my husband (many years ago now) I knew I really liked him, but I had no idea how he felt about me. I drove myself crazy with worry until I remembered that the Universe was always working in MY favor! I reminded myself that as much as I liked him, if it didn't work out with him, it would ONLY be because there was someone else for me that I would like EVEN MORE than him!The same is true for your daughter -- the Universe is always working in HER favor! There is a very strong likelihood that this is the one for her, but, even so, the only way it would possibly not work out with this one is if SHE finds someone she loves even more. It's this, or something even better -- those are the only two possibilities!
Someone that **I** liked more... I could actually get a little bit excited thinking about possibly finding someone I liked even more, and then I instantly felt better, and relaxed.
But that's too philosophical to be much help right now. For the immediate future, prior to, and during the bi-coastal separation, I would advise the following:
- If she can get into the practice of mentally listing all the qualities she loves about her man every time she thinks about him (rather than focusing on the fact that he isn't physically next to her) her spirits will lift, because she will be focusing on the love.
- If she can train herself to think of creative ways to try to improve and strengthen the relationship while they are separated by distance, rather than how the distance could damage the relationship, she will feel stronger and more stable because she is nurturing the bond, rather than poisoning it with insecure thoughts.
- Perhaps suggest that she read the Sara books by Esther Hicks -- they are SO GOOD for moving through sadness. I gave them to my mother when her husband of 20+ years passed away, and they are really uplifting. And, they are great for getting into the practice of focusing on what you DO want, no matter what is going on in life.
- She would be wise to be planning as many fun activities, participation in clubs, groups, hobbies, and classes as possible -- not just to be not thinking about her guy while he is on the other side of the country -- but to be her OWN best self. The more happy and busy, confident, and excited about her life she is, just AS IT IS, the more attractive (and impossible for him to forget) she'll be!
As for you, when you see your daughter feeling sad, give her a hug and just love her.
Then, as soon as you possibly can, even in that moment if you are able, simply close your eyes and imagine her happy and joyful, dancing in the light of love. You don't need to tell her you are doing this. As a matter of fact, don't tell her, just quietly picture her feeling how you would love for her to be feeling.
And, whenever you catch yourself adding to her sad feelings (by mentally affirming and repeating them yourself) immediately switch YOUR OWN thoughts to her doing something she loves, or feeling happy, or receiving some sort of gift or compliment, or being in a situation that gives her joy -- imagine her happy instead! (Again, don't tell her you are thinking of her happy instead of sad, because that may give her the idea that you are rejecting the reality of how she feels -- just silently imagine a better scenario yourself.)
Privately imagining others as you DO WANT for them to feel/be is the best thing you can ever do for anybody!
Blessings and love to all of you!