Question: I've been trying to manifest love and a possible relationship: I wrote out what I was looking for, what kind of relationship, how I would feel, and have been using visualization. I've been feeling really confident within myself, happy with life and the people around me. I then saw this guy, and he was what I envisioned, but nothing happened. He didn't seem interested in me at all. I was disappointed but deep down, I knew he wasn't right for me, because I couldn't imagine us as a couple.
Then a couple months after, on a good day, after work I went to my local store and was served there by new staff member (a guy) and while serving me, I picked up a vibe from him. I didn't think anything of it until I saw him again, and we chatted. It's been like that for a couple weeks. I really started to like him, he seemed to match up to what I had written in my manifestation. But then he suddenly went cold like he wasn't interested. I didn't like how I was worrying about it so much so I stayed away.
I then found out he is a lot younger than I. Though he is an adult, but is 6 years younger then me. So after staying away for 2-3 weeks I went to the store and he was there. I was next in line at the checkout, a queue began to build up, and another till became free. As I went to try and go to the next till, he held my shopping so that he would be able to serve me and talk to me. Suddenly all the feelings about how much I liked him came back. Now I'm confused.
In my manifestation I put that the guy would be around the same age as me, not six years younger. Everything else matches this guy but that.
I just can't see myself being with someone six years younger than me, but when I think about me and him together it fits.
Real Life LoA Answer: I completely understand where you are coming from, I have been there so many times myself! I know how confusing it can be, and how frustrating it is to meet someone you really like, but to not have the feelings returned. It's hard. It sucks, actually.
And, when you factor in the Law of Attraction and how you will manifest and attract even more of what ever you are thinking about (regardless of whether or not he is "the one") it all becomes even more confusing as you bump into him and see him around!
Unfortunately there is kind of a disconnect between what you want the Law of Attraction to bring when it is very detailed. The Universe seems to bristle a bit under the weight of very specific requests, especially in the area of love -- a friend of mine explains it like this:
Think of the Universe/the Law of Attraction as the most highly trained, most talented, most exceptional 5-star chef that ever lived, and one who is psychic and knows EXACTLY what you most love to eat, and deeply want for every meal. But, just before this wonder chef is about to serve you your meal, you make a request for it to have more salt, a precise amount of cinnamon, and less of another couple of ingredients that you think you don't like. So, what was about to be the PERFECT meal for you, is now kind of a jumbled mess, because this Universal chef cannot override your explicit instructions.
That is how it is with the Universal Law of Attraction too -- it cannot override your free will as expressed in your explicit instructions. And, even if it does send you someone great, if he doesn't fit your specifications, you will not be able to see him. That's how it works; you see what you are looking for, and what you expect to see. Literally.
What I have found is that love, and the best relationships, are more about trust, faith, and willingness to be open to what comes, rather than wanting to know in advance what it will look like and trying to find it.
But, your perfect guy IS looking for YOU just as much as you are looking for him!
...your primary goal is to be receptive, make eye contact, and smile like there is no tomorrow.
It could turn out that your guy isn't ready for you yet, maybe he is living in another state, maybe he has to complete or learn something in order to become the best partner for you, maybe deep down inside there is some dream or desire you want (or need) to reach before you are the woman you most want to be for him?
No matter what it is, the timing IS perfect. It is. The Universe knows what you want, has got your back, and is ALWAYS tending in your favor! Always!
The truth of the matter is that if that guy doesn't seem interested, he probably isn't. Most men (not all, but most) want to take the lead in a romantic relationship. And if you want that strong leader quality in you man, then you have to let him. If one guy is not interested, it just means that there is someone even better for you, MUCH better for you, right around the corner. The right guy for you will be wildly attracted to you -- you deserve nothing less!
That being said, time is a factor in your list of desired qualities for your mate. The Universe is trying to give you exactly what you want, but when it is really specific in your mind's eye, then it might take a VERY, VERY long time for the specific man to be available.
Here is what I did when I realized my list of desires for my man was too specific: I cut the list by more than half. I went through the whole list and asked myself: Am I willing to wait 20 years for a man with this quality, or am I willing to live without it if it means I could meet him very soon?
It worked, it was not that much longer after I did that, that I met my fabulous husband.
In addition to editing the list, another key was finally deciding to do some projects by myself that I had been holding off on, because I was waiting for "my guy" to do them with me. You must eliminate the energy of "waiting for him" out of your life. Then, when you no longer "need" him to come into your life before you do some of those things you've always wanted to do, then finally he CAN come!
In my experience, you never really know when it's "him" because good relationships are built at the foundation through decisions you make every day. You have to make the decision to focus on his good qualities, and not his faults; you have to make the decision to clean up any negative energy you may have going on within you before making accusations; you have to decide to be loving and kind even if you don't feel like it; you have to take full responsibility for what you are creating in your life, because, through the Law of Attraction, you are the only one who can do anything about it. It's all you. And really, it has very little to do with who your partner is, (other than the fact that it is easier to do these things with some people over some others.)
When I am working one-on-one with clients who are looking for love, I always recommend two books. Neither of them are Law of Attraction books, but both of them give real, practical advice about how to be the best YOU you can be while not expecting your partner to be too much. This is essential to being able to harness the Law of Attraction and manifest the love you want, because the energy that attracts it comes from YOU!
By Lori Gottlieb (link will open in a new window)
By Sherry Argov
The fact of the matter is that worrying about who your partner will be, or when you will meet him is not the energy that will manifest and attract him. Unfortunately. The time and attention you give to those kinds of thoughts serve only to keep pushing him away energetically. In order to attract him, you have to be so interested in your own life that you almost do not have time to give any thought at all to him (until he is actually a part of your life.)
In the end, the number one thing that matters the most is how YOU feel about YOU. How you TRULY feel about you! Do you think you are awesome? Cultivate the ability to know that you are kind, funny, interested in others, confident, creative, doing interesting things with your life, happy about the way you look, fit and healthy, a good listener, optimistic, spending time doing fascinating things that you enjoy.
When you possess and practice the qualities that you want to him to have, he cannot NOT find you!
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