Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
"Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" By Lori Gottlieb
The book "Marry Him" is not at all about the Law of Attraction per se, but I find it exceedingly complimentary to anyone (well, any woman at least) learning about and using the Law of Attraction to attract a loving relationship.
The thing this book does so beautifully is that it helps one to narrow down the list of qualities that many of us (myself included) initially believed were essential qualities in a mate. This is important in the Law of Attraction, because clarity can be integral to energy alignment.
Although this book was not yet written when I met my husband, I am certain that I would not have met him (or at least not met him when I did) if I hadn't drastically edited the list of qualities I wanted to manifest in a mate.
Although I had been primarily single and searching for a relationship for the better part of 10 years, I still had a list of some 40 or 50 items that I thought "my guy" would/should possess, some of them included:
- Height requirements of between 6'2" and 6'4" (my husband is 6'6")
- Between 2-5 years older than me (my husband is 3 years younger than I)
- A great job that earns a good salary that he loves and thrives on (my husband was a student when we met)
- Compatible astrological sign (don't laugh, it's not a joke, I really had that on my list!) And now, the joke is on me because I am a water sign and he is a fire sign which couldn't be much less compatible on the surface!
- Dark blond hair and blue eyes like mine (my husband is a hazel eyed brown haired man)
- Etc. Etc. Etc.
I seriously had 40 or 50 items on my list, truly. It was ridiculous. And, I was already working as a Law of Attraction coach at the time! Finally I made the connection in my mind that although the Universe really was trying to give me everything I wanted in a mate, it was going to take a VERY long time because the man I was looking for was SO specific!
With that idea in mind I decided to edit my list. For each item, I asked myself: Would I be willing to wait 20 years to find a man with this quality, or am I willing to forego that specific quality if it means that I could meet "my guy" right away? Off went all the qualities listed above, as well as many others.
I also asked myself if I was willing to "train him" or let him learn "on the job" (so to speak) for some of the other traits on the list. For instance, it was important to me that "my guy" should be thoughtful and buy little gifts to give to me for no particular occasion. This isn't very realistic in our culture, men are rarely raised that way, and the ones who do already know how to do that are often "players". So I decided that I was willing to teach him over time how to use this skill to make me happy, and though it doesn't happen very often still, I do know by other means that he thinks about me frequently, so I do have what I REALLY wanted out of the deal anyway!
These are just a few of my own personal examples that tie in to the message of the book "Marry Him". It is an excellent primer on how to NOT attempt to find one partner who meets your every need, and to be open to the surprise that the Universe and the Law of Attraction have in store for you. If my own experience is any indication, it will all work out FAR better than you ever could have imagined when you first created your list!!!
(Here is a good sample appetizer of what the book is about from the Today show web site: "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough"
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