Severe Acne and Don't Know How to Feel Good
Question: I have been dealing with adult acne for years. I had gone the conventional route and received temporary relief. Within the past year I've had big breakouts that I can't seem to control and they have taken such a toll on me that I no longer socialize and am afraid to go anywhere. I am very self-conscious and I am trying to take the more natural route rather than use chemicals.
I know that acne comes from not feeling "good enough" and I have never been in a relationship. Earlier this year when my skin had been healing I had gone to mixers and was on online dating sites. Now that I have this massive break out I feel as though my whole life is on hold. While everyone else is getting married, enjoying life and moving on--I am stuck. It's hurts to see my face in the mirror (both physically and emotionally) and I know according to the Law of Attraction I am supposed visualize that my face is clear (major challenge) and act as though I already have clear skin.
I have cancelled many outings with friends because of my breakouts. By the way, I do eat a clean diet that is free of dairy/wheat/sugar...but emotionally I am in a lot of pain and feel hopeless. I accept myself in the sense that I know I am beautiful (if wasn't for the acne) and that I am educated (I am a teacher) and am qualified. It's my skin preventing me from being happy. I know happiness is a choice but if you could see my skin you would know why I feel the way I do.
Real Life LoA Answer: Hello, I'm SO glad your wrote in with your question, thank you -- your courage and willingness to be vulnerable here will help SO many people who share your condition. Thank you!
I'm going to be a bit blunt in this answer, but it is not intended to be mean, or hurtful at all, it is intended to help you and give you some REAL perspective and direction for this very serious issue, so you can get some help and support around it as quickly as possible.
Law of Attraction alone is not the way to understand (or fix) what is going on here. The "fake it until you make it" kind of approach that many Law of Attraction practitioners advocate will only make the situation worse, because it is effectively denying the reality of what's really going on. And, what you resist persists.
As you know from Louise Hay (the author of the book You Can Heal Your Life), acne is about dislike of the self.
...BUT it's not dislike of the acne, it's about something deeper.
- Besides the acne, what about yourself are you ashamed of?
- What about you do you feel is wrong, bad, broken, different, incomplete, not enough, or inadequate?
- What is your secret shame about yourself?
...You don't have to answer those questions here, but since it's anonymous you may feel better if you do. Once you start to uncover the real, root issue, you can start to get some light and healing around it.
Suppressing the painful emotions and shame that is inside your heart, underneath the acne, is what is making the acne even worse.
When we look a little deeper into what Louise Hay has to say about cysts, (because severe acne is sometimes called cystic acne) cysts are about "running the old, painful movie and nursing hurts."
The truth of who you REALLY are is perfect, precious, whole, complete, beautiful, gifted, creative, magnificent, resourceful, and divine!
But, that knowledge is being covered up by some erroneous beliefs, misinterpretations of reality, and incorrect decisions you made about yourself somewhere along the line while you were growing up.
When you get very quiet and check inside your heart, and mentally scan back over the events of your life so far, what or who has hurt you deeply?
And, then, even more importantly, how much work, resources, and energy are you willing to invest to heal yourself of this pattern and get your life back?
Because, until it's healed, I don't recommend trying to override your real internal feelings by taking external actions like online dating sites. It won't work. It will most surely make you feel worse.
I do have five possible suggestions for you though, for next actions, in order of investment of time and expense:
- Study the work being done around the Three Principles, Innate Health, the Inside Out perspective, and watch these videos by George Pransky on how our thoughts are what is really causing the stress and painful emotions we feel:
It feels like the acne is what is making your unhappy, but in truth, it's your thoughts about the acne (and your thoughts about YOURSELF) which are really doing the damage. If you weren't thinking those thoughts at all, you would feel perfectly calm and peaceful, because you would only be feeling the real truth of who you are. Now, I know thats MUCH easier said than done, but that is the truth of how life really works, and why you feel the way you do. It's because of your thoughts. But, as you know it's not so easy to just change them, so...
- This is a long-term investment of your time and practice: Start studying A Course In Miracles, and doing the daily practices every day for a year.
Perhaps also get some outside support and help by becoming involved in a support group with a facilitator that teaches it. Robert Holden has written a book called Holy Shift which can also help when embarking on studying A Course In Miracles (sometimes abbreviated ACIM).
- Invest in the Natural Confidence program and work through all of the video modules multiple times. Beyond just giving you higher self-esteem, this program helps you to identify and re-program all of the disempowering beliefs that are actually causing the pain in your life now.
Because I believe so strongly in this method for healing old childhood wounds, I have a direct link to purchase from my website ($199) which I do get a small commission on, but you do not have to buy it from me. You can also purchase it directly from Morty Lefkoe's site (the originator of the program) for the same price.
I have used this program myself again, and again, and again to RE-CREATE my life and rid myself of erroneous beliefs from childhood, such as: "I'm not good enough", "change is difficult and hard", "I'm not important", "what others think of me is important", "I'm not capable", and many others. When done deeply and thoroughly, it can be very profound.
- Participate in a guided training course to learn Mindfulness Meditation as taught by John Kabat-Zinn, and practice it consistently for 30-minutes a day. You can also read John Kabat-Zinn's book "Full Catastrophe Living" to start to gain some perspective around accepting what is, and separating out your thoughts about what is going on in your life from the truth of who you really are in each present moment.
One of my clients, and my mindfulness meditation teacher, Jennifer Martin (Journey Through Mindfulness) is someone who came to terms with her own diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, and has learned to see it as a path to her own true self. Because of her diagnosis, and then learning to be mindful despite it, she has been able to create the life she has really always wanted. There is hope in ANY situation!
- Start working with a really good therapist, possibly one who has expertise working with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), or a coach with psychological training, or a facilitator of the work of Byron Katie.
I feel the best course of action for you would be to hire somebody to support you, and help you work through this, because it feels like it's a very deep and traumatic issue. In my experience, old and deep hurts are very difficult to heal on one's own.
I'm not saying you must spend money to work through this, but, because of the depth of pain the acne (and it's underlying energetic roots) causes you, and what it does to your ability to enjoy your life, I believe that cost of any of the above suggestions will be more than worth your investment.
I know this is a Law of Attraction site, but, in my experience, no amount of wishing, believing, positive thinking, or visualizing can make up for real pain that has not yet been healed.
I wish you the very, very, very best, and am willing to be of even greater support if I can help you further. Please write again, and leave a comment below to let us know how you have chose to work thorough this, and how you are doing! Love and blessings to you!