How to feel good when life is shattered? ;-{

Question: My long distance girl friend has moved on with someone else. It's been two weeks. We are about to meet next month for the first time, and I feel our love will rekindle again once we meet, but for the time being it's killing me seeing her with someone else. How can I be happy in such a situation? It is only after being with her that I came to know about the law of attraction and meditation. I feel she is a special gift. I don't want to lose her. Please help. I'll be obliged to you for a lifetime.

Real Life LoA Answer: I'm so sorry, I know how painful it is to be grieving the passing of a special relationship. It is a very hard thing to go through, especially when the wound is fresh. Two weeks is still very recent, particularly if you had been together for some time, so it is also important to allow yourself some time and space to grieve.

However, the reason it feels so bad is because, even more upsetting to your soul than the loss of your relationship with your girlfriend, you are currently not accessing your relationship with your own higher self, your connection to Source Energy, and your own awareness of how magnificent YOU are.

When you are newly in love, you focus most of your thoughts on all the best qualities and wonderful aspects of the other person and the situation. This feels really, really, really good because, at those moments, you are in complete alignment with Source Energy, and the Law of Attraction keeps bringing you more and more to notice and feel good about, thus increasing the bliss even more. You also feel really good about yourself, because the other person is focused solely on YOUR best qualities, and is showering you with affirmations about how fantastic you are, which is also in complete alignment with how Source Energy feels about EACH of you.

The challenge is to realize, and know, that YOU are creating those feelings, NOT the other person.

YOU are the one generating the warm feelings of love and adoration within yourself, by focusing on what YOU like and admire about whatever it is you are focusing your attention on. ...This is something YOU do yourself, it is NOT because of any other person involved!

Being in love is one way to be in the vortex, to be in the flow, to be happy and content, and to be in alignment with the Law of Attraction and Source Energy, but is NOT the only way! YOU are a glorious, magnificent, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, bright, resourceful, amazing, tender, sweet, lovely divine creator, and you have the power to focus your attention onto anything you choose! It does take practice, that's for sure, but it IS within your power to do it!

Now, I know how much it sucks to have a loved one move on and leave you behind, and how painful that is. And, I know that it IS hard to shift your focus off of that situation and on to something else when you are in the grip of a hurting heart. That's true, it is a lot easier said than done. But, getting back to the place of feeling good can be accomplished by doing just that. Just that – shift your focus ON to something that IS working in your life, and take your attention OFF of the subject of your relationship every time you catch yourself fretting over it.

Your question is twofold, how to feel good in the midst of such a situation, as well as what to do about the loss of your girlfriend (and maybe how to get her back?) Unfortunately, it is not possible to influence the desires of any other person with the Law of Attraction, but you CAN make yourself as attractive as possible, and the answer for how do that is the same as for the other two questions:

Be as happy and busy, happy and busy, happy and busy as you can possibly be.

Accomplishing this can include doing things such as:

  • Make a written list of 25 things that ARE working in your life, things that you DO like and are going well for you right now.
  • Do something that you love to do, something that takes your mind OFF of the other things that are going on in your life. Better yet, first make a list of 25 things you LOVE to do, and then do one of them, and then another, and then another, and then another, and so on.
  • Meditate. If you have access to the "Getting Into the Vortex" guided meditations by Esther and Jerry Hicks, they are excellent! I use them every day myself, and I have been feeling better and better every day since I started listening to them.
  • Make a list of your own positive aspects, a list of your BEST qualities, and the traits that you, yourself (and others) admire about you, and then spend 5-10 minutes last thing before bed focusing your attention on what is wonderful about YOU.
  • Get into action and take some forward motion steps toward another dream or goal in your life (something having nothing to do with relationships) – find your own passion for another aspect of your life (career, health, physical fitness, home, spirituality, friends, family, etc.) and take action to make improvements in that area.
  • Develop some of your own best qualities by taking a class, spending time on yourself, joining a social group that meets to discuss something you are interested in, working on a hobby, or enriching your own quality of life.
  • Don't allow yourself to spend your time or attention focusing on low energy, low vibration pursuits that add negative energy to your life – minimize escaping into drugs or alcohol, do your best to remove yourself from participating in negative conversations, and don't watch the news.
  • Make a practice of deliberately looking for examples in your life and surroundings of things that are going well, that do work out in your favor, of things you like and appreciate, and things that give you a feeling of contentment or joy.

The truth is that everything that happens to you in your life is really happening to be of benefit to you – it is happening to help you to clarify more of what you DO want to be experiencing. It is so you can become more aware, and more clear about the emotions and feelings you would like to be experiencing more of, more of the time.

Every relationship you have ever had, or will ever have, is a "stepping stone" to help you create for yourself a version of YOURSELF who is participating fully in the relationship of your dreams. Sometimes that can come into existence with one partner, with whom you expand together and reach deeper and deeper levels of understanding and intimacy together, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, as much as you like, love and appreciate a current (or former) partner, there is really someone else who is a better fit for you.

One thing is always true: If it doesn't work out with this particular woman, it is because there is someone even better for you out there looking for you. Really. If it is not this girl, then it is someone even better for you! As wonderful as she is, when you are really honest with yourself, can you identify a few qualities that you might like even more in your next partner? Thinking about it that way can go a long way toward finding the hope to love again, even if it is not with this particular person.

And, when you are focusing your attention to thoughts of what you like, and what could be even better than that, then the Law of Attraction must bring you more examples of people and situations that match those higher vibration ideas!

You CAN do this, you are on the right track, I promise. Even though it hurts right now, the Universe is helping you, and it will work out in your favor, it will. This experience is essential to your expansion into the life that your own heart, through the Law of Attraction, is in the process of creating for you!

In the meantime you have to discipline yourself to stop thinking about or picturing her with someone else. You have to develop an "in the meantime" kind of attitude with yourself – maybe that situation will change, and the two of you will get back together, or maybe it won't and a new situation that you can be even more excited, more happy, more thrilled, and more joyous about will become your reality. Either way, you must teach yourself to shift your focus onto something else in the meantime. You have to make a deal with yourself to not think about the problem right now, to perhaps think about it later when you are feeling better, and then start thinking about something that you can feel happy about NOW – something that IS working. That is what you have to do, and it is the only thing that can bring you true Peace (which is the ultimate goal of everything we ever want anyways!)

From the perspective of the Law of Attraction and Source Energy, all is well. The more time you can spend looking for the ways that might actually be true, the better you will feel. It is not always easy, but it is always within your control to do it, and you were born to be able to see life that way. It is your birthright. You are in the right place, and your dreams ARE on their way to you now. (...It's just that right this minute they are probably much bigger than you can imagine!)

Though I do not know who you are, I can see the beauty of your soul, and your heart. I am sending you love and blessings for ease and grace as you move through this transition in your life, into the expanded version of who YOU REALLY ARE. You are precious, and you are in the perfect position to find the right love for yourself (whomever it is with!) Blessings and light to you!

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