Want to feel accepted by a group of friends
(San Francisco, California)
Question: In the industry I work in, there is a group of friends who are very close, very successful, and also quite a bit older than me. I very much want to be a part of their group, and included by them, but when I am around them, I am never included and I lose confidence.
I know I shouldn't try to force my way into their clique, but despite knowing that, and always feeling bad about myself after hanging out with them, I still continue to try. I'm almost obsessed with making trips to the coffee shop where they hang out at the times when I know they will be there, and other things like that.
Please help me understand how the law of attraction is contributing to this situation.
Real Life LoA Answer: I feel how hard this situation is for you - I have had that kind of experience in the past myself, so I know that it is difficult, I'm sorry.
The problem is that the Law of Attraction can never help you to feel good when you are looking for approval and acceptance from other people. It doesn't reside there.
"You never feel good unless you are in
your own full power."
~Abraham (Phoenix, 29 August 2011)
The only true sense of love and acceptance comes from your connection with your own Inner Being, sense of yourself, and with Source Energy - that is what the Law of Attraction can build on and make you feel really good about.
That is why it feels so bad when the group of friends is acting like they don't accept you, because it is really you that is not fully accepting you (and they are simply reflecting your own reality back at you.) ...I'm sorry to have to say that, but that is how the Law of Attraction works - it simply reflects how you are feeling and emoting, at any given moment back at you, like a mirror, so you can see it (and shift it, if you so choose.)
The only way to find real love, approval and acceptance from others is to find your own connection with your own Inner Being first - then other people will reflect your own peace and contentment back to you.
Some things you CAN do are:
- Get a notebook, and start making lists of all the positive qualities and good traits you see and appreciate about the people around you - ALL the people, including yourself. (NOT just this group of friends that you want to be closer with.)
- Find things and experiences to appreciate, and flow love toward, that have nothing to do with that group of friends.
- When you catch yourself wanting to give in to the temptation to go to the coffee shop where your colleagues hang out, or do any other action that you feel tempted to do to try to get their attention (as opposed to something that is purely fun for you,) then deliberately do something else instead. ...Take 5 minutes and do a meditation, read an uplifting book for a little while, write a thank you note, watch an Abraham video - something other than that thing that puts you in a position of not feeling good about yourself.
- Find some ways to give to OTHER people the same feelings that you wish you were experiencing with that group of colleagues. Find a reason to give a sincere compliment to someone else, find a way to GIVE inclusion and acceptance to another person/someone else, find a way to help someone else who needs it - there is great power in giving what you most wish to receive!
- Make lists of things in your environment that you like, situations from your past that have gone well, aspects of your work or home life that you enjoy, things you like to do, and relationships that are joyful and satisfying for you.
- Perhaps most importantly, make a list of YOUR best qualities and things you like about yourself, and read it over daily. Add to it as much as you can, and practice seeing yourself in that light.
The more you use your mind to focus your attention on appreciation, and deliberately noticing when you feel good - really thinking about it consciously - the better you will feel. (And, as a side benefit, you will also be more attractive to the people who are in harmony with your heart's highest intentions for you.)
When you are feeling good, the Law of Attraction will bring you ALL the people, relationships, experiences and situations that are for your highest good and will have you feel real joy.
I hope this helps,
Blessings to you,