Law of Attraction and the Ego
Question: I would be very grateful if you could help me answer a question about the ego and the Law of Attraction. When I first started to read about the Law of Attraction I was thrilled because it felt like it was the answer to all my dreams. I read "The Science of Getting Rich" and started to manifest amazing things. I really believed in it and I felt as if I deserved all of the things I wanted.
I had goals such as winning certain competitions, being the best student in my class and simply being number one in everything. These goals really motivated me because I liked to outshine others and be respected and admired. Then, with time, I started to feel guilty; I thought that it is not good to be better than other people. Do not get me wrong, I am usually told that I am a really nice and loving person and I very humble even though I am often very successful in what I do. But I felt that all my goals were about being the best, and I started thinking that I motivated myself I the wrong ways.
Now every time I set a high goal for myself, I feel bad about it because it feels as if my "ego" is the one aiming so high. So now I mostly go around helping others to be good, but feel bad about being successful myself. I really need some help in understanding the relationship between the ego and high goals in the Law of Attraction.
I would feel great if someone could justify my will to be the best. For example, now there is a competition that I would enter, but I feel sorry for my opponents and I can't find a balance. Should I help them win, or is it ok for me to not give them any advice and only think about enhancing myself? Or another example, I wanted to start a business, but now I feel sorry for those that I may cause a loss for if I manage to take their customers.
Please help me because I feel very bad, and my life is not going so well ever since this confusion in my mind started. Thank you very much in advance.
Real Life LoA Answer: I feel for you and the confusion that is going on for you right now, I'm sorry that it has been troubling you, especially since the reason that it feels bad is because the thoughts you are describing are not in alignment with your own Inner Being and Source Energy. That is WHY it feels bad, now it's just a matter of what to do about it instead...
Abraham (in the Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction workshops) as well as others have often said: "You cannot get poor enough to help others become rich, and you cannot get sick enough to help others get well." That can be extended to an even more absurd degree to say that you cannot get old enough to help someone else stay young, or you cannot hold your breath long enough to help someone else breathe easier. The point is that NO amount of deprivation, or diminishing of who YOU are, who you want to be, and what you are capable of being can EVER really help anyone else. After all, if you are playing a game with someone, and they were to "let" you win by not playing to the best of their ability, would you really feel the satisfaction of having won? No.
From the Law of Attraction perspective, you MUST be the best you can be, be as happy as you possibly can be, and be reaching to attain the most satisfaction, contentment, and joy as you can imagine in order to be keeping up with your own expansion. Doing anything less can never result in true harmony with life, because you are not in alignment with the truth of who you are as a Divine Being if you are not being the most you can be.
There is a famous quote by Marianne Williamson, from "A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles" (often mis-attributed to Nelson Mandela) that is perfectly applicable to your situation:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I love the line "Your playing small does not serve the world" because it is SO true - YOU are a divine creator - YOUR thoughts, dreams, desires, and manifestations are expanding the planet! YOU are meant to be ALL that you can be, because there is NO other you - there is no one with your perspective, your experience, your thoughts, your dreams, your ideas, insight and innovation, or your integral and necessary contribution to the whole tapestry of life. YOU are necessary, and that means that it is necessary for you to strive to be ALL that you can be, so that the expansion of ALL That Is, can manifest fully.
To be motivated by your ego is not a bad thing, the ego is responsible for the birthing of your desires, and your desires are part of a bigger picture in ALL That Is. The manifestation of your desires expands the whole Universe to bigger and better dreams. Your dreams ARE God's dreams for you! If you have any desire at all, no matter what it is, it is because the Universe is trying to assist you into becoming THAT version of yourself, the best version of yourself, in accordance with your own Inner Being's drive.
Your ego helps you to identify the first glimpses of a new idea for yourself. Sometimes it may seem like the goal is for an impure reason, but that is not ever really the case, because every manifestation is part of the bigger picture of your life (and the life of the whole planet.)
I will share an example from my own life as an illustration: When I was about to graduate from University, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life or career. I had recently split from a boyfriend that I really liked, and I was hurt, depressed, and mourning the loss as he was moving on with his own life. I had the fleeting idea that I should move to Australia after I graduate, that it would be wild and crazy (fun) thing to do, and, most of all, that it would make him jealous, because it was much more glamorous than anything he (or anyone else I knew) had ever done.
I did end up going to Australia, and though it had no effect on the former boyfriend (that I am aware of,) it did end up being one of the most pivotal and profound experiences of my life. I made friends that I am close to, and cherish to this day even though we are scattered all over the world now. I learned that I was stronger and more resourceful than I had ever imagined. I tried things, did things, worked odd jobs, and made decisions for myself that I never could have experienced any other way. That experience is an important foundational aspect of who I am today, as well as the source material for where much of my bigger dreams, my vortex, and my energetic direction was put into motion.
An idea that started as a lark, a bit of a stunt to make a beau jealous, turned out to be very important in the tapestry of my life. So, there is no wrong reason for why you may want something. If it is not for your highest good, or in accordance with your deeper dreams and desires (as you Inner Being knows it) it will not come about easily, so you can't really go wrong, at least not from the Law of Attraction perspective!
And, in the eyes of the Law of Attraction, there are no victims - everyone who participates in your manifestations is playing a part that is important for each of their own individual life journeys. You have absolutely no way of knowing what is for anybody else's highest good, and it is not your job to figure it out. That is God's job (as I like to say) and the Law of Attraction has it all under control!
You are indeed a divine and magnificent creator, but only of your OWN life - it is by envisioning, creating, attracting, allowing and living YOUR best life that you are being the most influential, inspirational, and empowering example to the people around you. Only by YOU being your best can you inspire or (energetically) assist them to be the best they can be.
The truth is that the only way you can ever really help anyone else is to envision them at their best, achieving their best, equipped with their own solutions, and manifesting their own dreams in an energetic way. You cannot do it for them, and you also cannot do it if you are not seeing, believing, and experiencing the same for yourself!
Blessings to you, and thank you for writing with such a glorious question. It has been my honor to communicate these truths as I understand them, and I hope they help you to know more fully how perfect, precious, wonderful, creative, beautiful, intelligent, and amazing YOU are! When you think about the experience of having your dreams fulfilled, and it feels good to imagine it, that is your evidence that you are on the right track. When it feels good to think about if, go for it - that is the Universe saying, "YES!"
Love and hugs,