Law of Attraction, sex, relationships, and protection -- A vibration of mistrust?
Question: I am a gay male. One of the things that we are taught is to never take anyone at their word when it comes to relationships. Often times we are instructed to always wear protection during intercourse...even if there is a commitment of monogamy.
For the past year I have listened to Abraham-Hicks audio recorded in 2007 about the Law of Attraction. I GET most of what is said, but I am perplexed about one thing. Wouldn't the use of "protection" during sex cause a negative vibration? Doesn't it send the vibration of mistrust?
I do so badly want to follow the river and go with the flow, but this is one area that I am really struggling with. And I can see how my negative vibrations have affected my relationships by their manifestations. Like, my last ex ended up with an STD which didn't come from me (which ultimately ended the relationship).
Which brings me to another point. The LoA, sounds like it almost certainly absolves others from wrongs, because YOU bring into your life from the vibrations you send out--point made by said ex by my refusal to not go without "protection".
I am just really confused by this, and any clarification may help me work out this mess I am in. Maybe there is a missing piece of the puzzle that I haven't found yet.
Thanks again for your help.
Real Life LoA Answer: Dear Perplexed,
Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you for asking such a courageous and important question. The distinction you are asking about is essential to understand, in terms of reclaiming the power in your own life from the illusion of other peoples' opinions and beliefs.
First of all, you are NEVER responsible for other peoples' bad behavior. And though there is an element of attraction and manifestation as to why you are involved in the situation in the first place, it is never so simple as "you attracted a partner who contracted an STD because of your vibration" -- that would be creating in someone else's reality, and that's not possible.
When it comes to your vibration on any given subject, it is an accumulation of many, many, many different factors -- thoughts, beliefs, history, memories, attitude, intuition, desires, impressions in the moment, etc., etc., etc. You cannot identify any one idea that would end up being responsible for any given manifestation.
So, simply using protection during sex (or believing you should) would not, in itself, send a vibration of mistrust. A vibration of mistrust might be present, but it isn't BECAUSE you choose to use protection. Likewise, if you were to decide to just stop using protection, it would not eliminate any vibration of mistrust that was present; it would amplify it.
If it's cold outside you might choose to wear a coat because you prefer to be warm. Deciding not to wear a coat because you wish you didn't need one, or because your partner isn't wearing one will not change the temperature outside. More likely, not wearing a coat will amplify how cold it feels outside because you are even less warm than you ordinarily would've been (because you usually wear a coat.)
Using protection during sex can be seen the same way. You use it because YOU prefer to feel healthy, you prefer to feel secure, you prefer to take charge of your own life and health rather than worry that you could be at the mercy of someone else's past (which he may or may not even be aware of.) YOU prefer to take steps so you can feel relaxed and loving during sex, knowing that you are covered. You can actually be even more free in that sense because you are free from worry (and worry is a very destructive vibration!)
There are many things that are like that -- the things we choose to do because the alternative is even worse for our vibration than the initial action: Buckling seat belts, obeying the speed limit, having health insurance, wearing a helmut on a motorcycle, not drinking too much or to the point of ill effects, calling a taxi after a party instead of driving home, locking the doors, etc. The long-term peace of mind, ease, relaxation, and sense of safety/security for having taken the action is far more beneficial than the initial annoyance of the action itself (or the slight fear that prompted it.)
~ ~ o o o ~ ~
Many years ago Abraham used to have a saying in their workshops that went something like this:
If you think there might be a monster in the bushes behind the bench, whether there really is a monster there, or there really is not a monster there, either way, don't sit on the bench.It means that your belief (expectation) is your reality. If you think there might be a monster in the bushes behind the bench, simply trying to convince yourself that there isn't one won't change the reality of your true vibration or your feelings about it. You would have to be certain, certain, certain, certain before you could truly be free of the nagging worry that there might be. And, if you were that certain, there wouldn't be any question in the first place.
As long as there might be a problem, you need to take the necessary steps to protect yourself, or make yourself feel comfortable with the situation exactly the way it is, in order for the vibration of the potential problem to not be the dominant energy.
For example, when you go to a foreign country, you learn a few words of the local language and make sure to have a map with you. When you park your car at a shopping mall, you don't leave valuables on the seat or the doors unlocked -- you do what you can to feel comfortable and safe, and to work within the situation as it is. You do that, so that you aren't worrying the whole time about what you could have done differently (because that really will attract something negative into your experience (or at least ruin any fun you were going to have!!))
Every message is for you. Everything that comes into your attention is a message for your benefit. Nothing happens TO you -- everything happens FOR you. It has happened to help you clarify the bigger picture, fine tune your deeper desires, to shift your focus onto something more important, or help you to get out of a situation that is not supportive of you and your dreams. If you notice something and it makes your Spidey-sense go off, take heed and make the necessary changes while you can, or at least be very clear about your intentions for the experience you DO want to have.
I got a weird feeling from a guy in a parking lot the other day, so rather than leave my car where I had parked it, I went back and drove it to another area and parked in a different spot. That's not to say that guy was up to no good, he could have been perfectly harmless, but I would have ruined my own vibration worrying about it if I hadn't moved my car away from where he was hanging around. I tried re-affirming my intentions for the safety and pristine condition of my car while I was away from it, but my mind kept going back to how horrible I would feel if anything bad had happened. That nagging worry clouded my vibration, so I cleaned up my vibration by moving my car.
~ ~ o o o ~ ~
With regard to how potential partners react to your choices about your body and your health, think about it this way: If someone hit you physically, would you ever, ever, ever, ever even wonder for a second about allowing that behavior to continue just because he felt that physical abuse was acceptable?
No you wouldn't. You have too much respect for yourself to allow someone else to harm you in that way.
When you consider your needs in the context of what allows YOU to be the most open, the most relaxed, the most confident, the most comfortable, the most expressive, the most communicative, the most secure and accepted, and the most loving, then whatever it takes for YOU to be able to feel that way is a very good thing! ...And using condoms or other protection during sex can be one of the tools that helps you to feel that way. That's what matters to your vibration (and consequently, to what you attract overall.)
YOU are a precious, worthy, beautiful, amazing, wonderful, divine and magnificent, co-creative being. When you respect your body, your health, your vibrancy, your vitality, and your SELF by honoring your own needs first (no matter what partners or potential partners may think) you will:
- Attract people with similar intentions for themselves, and vibrations that are harmonious with yours who also do. The Law of Attraction will surround you with people, partners, and friends, who have the dominant intention to be gentle, self-honoring, nurturing, and healthy, who take care of themselves, so that they can be then be relaxed, happy, and the best kind of free with you.
- Begin to have more clarity about what your own intuitions, vibrations, and feelings are really telling you, and about what you really want for your life. When something doesn't feel right for you, it isn't -- that is your Inner Guidance showing you the way to your BIGGER hopes, dreams, and desires. Those situations that aren't right, should naturally start to leave your experience.
- You can see past any false-friend (or lover) who tries to convince you that your wisdom is wrong. Your own Inner wisdom and emotions are your best guide, and anyone who is not harmonious with it will sort themselves out of your life. And that, even when it is painful, is always for the best.
That is the essence of going with the flow -- the flow of what YOUR guidance knows is right for you and is leading you to bigger and better expressions of your dreams!