Law of Attraction Relationship, Rebuild Trust and Forgiveness
Question: I am myself a very sweet girl who just wants her love life to blossom to its fullest... I'm in a happy relationship, but I still get over-possessive sometimes... And, truly speaking, I don't have that much trust in my partner though I love him... Can LoA (the Law of Attraction) help me to forgive and in building up my trust in him again???
Real Life LoA Answer: It is very common to feel that way within a long-term relationship, I feel your frustration, I'm sorry. But, there is GOOD news – you do not have to feel that way. It is actually very easy to adjust how you are feeling in your relationship just by shifting your own focus! (...And the Law of Attraction will follow suit very quickly.)
When a relationship is new, it is naturally easy to focus on positive aspects of the other person – you do not know each other well yet, and all you see (choose to focus on) is what you love and appreciate about the person. Even when others might try to point out his negative traits, you don't want to listen to that nonsense, you don't care – you are too focused on everything you like about him! ...And that's good!
But, you must maintain the practice of focusing on his positive aspects and best qualities.
(And ignoring the negative ones.) There is no person on the planet who could possibly live up to behaving in such a way that you only experience their positive aspects and good qualities all of the time. When you think about it, not even you live up to your own idea of perfection all of the time, so of course, no one else could either. (When it comes right down to it, you really should be focusing on your OWN positive qualities too, but that isn't the question you were asking.) Here's what you need to do:
When you are in a fairly happy mood yourself, not angry or frustrated, take out a piece of paper and make a list of all the things you DO like, love and appreciate about your partner. Write down the nice things he does, what he is good at, what you are attracted to about him – write down ONLY the aspects and qualities that are good about him now (not the potentially good possibilities, or the areas that need improvement!)
Then, take a few minutes each day and meditate on that list, and feel the love you have to give well-up inside you, before you go about your day. In time, because of the Law of Attraction, more and more of those qualities will be present in your actual experience more and more often.
When it comes to forgiveness, and forgetting about bad times in your relationship, that is largely in your control as well. It is not possible to truly "let something go," but you CAN choose to focus on something different, and change the way you look at it every time it comes up.
When you catch yourself feeling bad, angry, worried, or dwelling on bad memories from the past, ask yourself: "Is this something that I want MORE of in my life experience now?"
If the answer is "NO", then turn your attention onto clarifying for yourself what you DO want MORE of in your life now, and start imagining, visualizing, picturing, day-dreaming, and making statements (to yourself) about what you DO want instead.
For instance, if you catch yourself thinking about a time when he completely forgot about something that was important to you, and you felt let-down and angry that he was doing something else, instead of what he had promised to do for you (just an example,) ask yourself: "Is this something that I want MORE of in my life experience now?"
Then, since the answer will be "no," choose to start thinking about what you DO WANT in the future, what you DO like, what you DO want to be experiencing more of instead, for example: I love it when we go to do something special, just the two of us. I love it when he surprises me with a nice little gift. I love it when we cuddle and talk and really connect with each other. I love it when he calls me just to say hello and tells me that he is thinking of me...
You do not have to say any of this to any other person, especially not to him. This is an energetic exercise only. What you give your attention to, what you use your mind to think about, and what your concentration dwells on is what YOU are creating for yourself. It is not about "making" another person do anything different, it is about telling the Universe and the Law of Attraction, only through your THOUGHTS, what YOU like!
When you practice, more and more, the habit of ONLY thinking about something if you want MORE of it/that energy in your life, then what you experience will start to shift to be more things that make you feel happy and glad – that is how the Law of Attraction works!
You also mentioned feeling overly possessive sometimes... The challenge with feeling over-possessive is that it usually because you are looking to someone else to help you to feel secure. The more you try to feel security and try to get him to do things that you think will help you to feel secure, the more he will feel trapped, and will try to assert his need for freedom. Even if he isn't doing anything that you should worry about, the simple fact that he is trying to create more freedom and space for himself will cause you to worry more, and feel even less secure – it's a vicious cycle that keeps getting worse and worse over time (because the Law of Attraction magnifies whatever you are thinking about.)
The fact of the matter is that only you can create your own feeling of security. Your feeling of security comes from the self-confidence of truly knowing your own worth and value. Not in a way that makes someone else behave in a certain way, but in the sense that you KNOW you are safe.
- You KNOW that everything ultimately works out for the best for you.
- You KNOW that the Universe is looking out for you.
- You KNOW that you are precious, magnificent and divine.
- You KNOW that when a situation is not to your preference, it is because there is something even better right around the corner waiting for you.
- You KNOW that if this relationship isn't wonderful for you, that there is someone else out there who is right for you.
- You KNOW that YOU are the creator of your reality and that when YOU shift your focus onto what you like, what you appreciate, what you are happy about, what you find engaging, blissful, and fun, and what you desire and intend to experience MORE of – that THAT is what you attract!
To be in harmony with the Law of Attraction, you cannot (must not) expect your partner to adjust his behavior to make you happy. It is not the work of anyone else to make you happy. It is your work to adjust your own thinking so that you can be happy no matter how they are behaving.
When you get really good at focusing on his positive aspects and good qualities, and start to use more and more of your attention and thoughts to focus on only what you want MORE of in your life, the Law of Attraction must bring more of that energy into your life. It will seem like he is changing, and in some ways he might be, but what is really going on is because you are being diligent about what you are focusing on. And then, when he is around you, you are far more likely to only see/experience what you have already been practicing focusing on.
Only you can make you happy – it's all by choosing what you focus on. You CAN do it – it's your birthright – and once you master it, there is no greater power you could ever know! Blessings and love to you as you move forward on your magnificent journey!