How can I use the Law of Attraction to attract my soulmate?
Question: Hi, I have been practicing staying in the Vortex for the last few years. Most aspects of my life have improved, I have the job I want, and my life is relatively stress free and easy. I am always having fun and bad things never happen. I am 30 years old and have not been in a long-term relationship for 6 years. I have had plenty of men in my life yet they only last 3 months or so. Each man I attract is getting closer to one I visualize being perfect for me. When I am in the Vortex, I visualize the man of my dreams. I imagine our day-to-day lives and how amazing our relationship is. I think I do really capture the feelings of those visualizations.
The man I want is a famous Indian Actor who I have not met yet. We have spoken on the phone though. At the moment, he is not in my reality so I am dating. Each time I date someone I make a list of positive aspects, but I still feel like I am climbing a mountain that is never ending. I am over the dating game and just want to find someone that I can stand still with. I would appreciate your advice. And by the way, your site is awesome; I have shared it with everyone I know!
Real Life LoA Answer: Hi Monica, thank you so much for your compliments on the Real Life Law of Attraction site. I LOVE hearing that kind of feedback, and so appreciate that you take the time to share the site with your friends – that is why I continue to run the site, so I can help to encourage more and more people to be able to live the lives of their dreams. Thank you!
Now on to your excellent question... This is such a common issue for people, and certainly was for me before I met my husband. I hadn't been in a long-term relationship for six or seven years before that, and I was beside myself with frustration for why it wasn't working out for me! Everything you are already doing, practicing staying in your vortex, visualizing, etc., is great!
However, I actually see two separate challenges going on simultaneously in the situation you are describing:
- Wanting to be in a satisfying, fulfilling, loving and fun relationship so you can be "over the dating game" and enjoy the companionship of someone you "can stand still with"
- Desiring a specific person whom you imagine could be the perfect person for that relationship
Unfortunately, those two desires are actually working against one another, because you are sending mixed messages to the Universe, and the Law of Attraction is giving you mixed manifestations right back.
Imagine that you are at the end of a hallway, and you need to choose between a room on your right, vs. a room on your left. In the room on your left is the actor that you are attracted to, so you are really only looking into that room, because you feel certain that he is the man for you. But what if the Universe has the REAL perfect man for you, even BETTER than the actor, waiting for you in the room that was on your right? One who is even more attractive, more fun, more well matched to you, more sexually compatible, better sense of humor, etc. But, because you have your back turned to the room on the right, while you are focused into the room on the left, you cannot even see the even better man for you.
All the while, you are actually sending the Universe more and more signals to attract the type of man that is in the room on the right. But, because you are so focused on the actor in the room on the left, your own desire and energy is not lining up with what your Inner Being has asked for, and you feel more and more frustrated because it seems like the "right" one is not in your life yet. Even if you were to bounce back and forth between the two rooms, it would still manifest as mixed signals in terms of the Law of Attraction.
It's very tricky when there is a specific person that you are interested in/attracted to. From the Law of Attraction perspective, most of the time those people are more "symbolic" or "reference material" to gain clarity and detail for the even BETTER person that the Law of Attraction is really trying to bring you.
It may sound a bit blunt, but the fact that the actor is not actually in your life right now is a good sign that he is not "the one" for you. On the other hand, I can guarantee that the person your own Inner Being is in the process of attracting to you is someone that you will like the REALITY of even more!
So, onto what you can do to assist Law of Attraction in helping you and your Inner Being to attract the best, most wonderful, perfect, divine right relationship for you. Here are some good ways to bring yourself into greater alignment with your soulmate:
- De-clutter your life, schedule, and home to make space for your man – energetically, physically, and environmentally. Clean out some drawers, make sure you have two nightstands by your bed, give him space to be in your home when he does come into your life. Make sure that there is room in your schedule; do the things that are social and fun for you, but don't take on added responsibilities simply because you "have time" for them.
- Imagine the kinds of activities that you would be doing AFTER you are in a committed relationship with your partner, and do as many of those things as you can now. Or, simply imagine that you ARE in that committed relationship as you go about your current activities, and bring that happy, fulfilled, content, and loving energy to all that you do.
- Edit the list of qualities that you want your partner to have, and decide which ones are imperative enough to wait for, no matter how long it takes, and which ones you would be willing to live without (or cultivate over time) if that meant that he might come into your life sooner. The Law of Attraction is always trying to give you exactly what you want, and when it is very specific, sometimes that can take a very long time.
- Think about the possible negative impacts on your life and schedule that a new partner might bring, and then figure out ways to make that transition more harmonious, or to deliberately attract someone who "fits" with what is most important to you.
- Create a written "bucket list" of all the things you can think of that you want to have, do, or be, before you are too old to enjoy them (or, before you "kick the bucket" as they say.) Then, set out to do as many as you can, starting now. The purpose of this technique is to get your mind OFF of the problem of not being in the relationship of your dreams yet, and focus your energy around doing things that are really fun for you. This will transform your whole life to be in more alignment with ALL of your dreams for yourself.
I have done all of these processes myself, as well as others, while I was attracting the man who is now my husband, and seven years later, we are still very, very happy together. I do still have to deliberately focus my attention onto a list of his positive aspects from time to time, but that is to be expected with any (and every) important relationship.
This question is a very big one, and very important – good, solid, loving, and enjoyable personal relationships are one of the most vital aspects of our lives. And, it is your birthright. It is your birthright to create a joyful and loving life for yourself, and a massive aspect of that IS your close relationships!
The most important relationship you have is always going to be the one you have with YOU – the one you have with the bigger part of you which IS Source Energy. But it is that one that helps you to attract ALL the others! If you keep focusing on your own relationship with your vortex, and be the best version of YOU that you can possibly be, and engage in your passions, everything you want will flow into your life. It is MUCH easier said than done, of course, but that is the journey of life.
Blessings and love to you Monica, and to all who read this!
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And, if you want to know more about the Law of Attraction perspective on love and relationships, you can check out these additional resources: (These links will all open in a new tab or window.)